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It goes around

A lot of the females on LJ have posted this. I haven't seen any man do it (yet). So I'll take the initiative.

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her. If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her. If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her. If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her. If a woman is jogging in a park at 5AM, don't rape her. If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her. If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her. If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her. If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her. If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her. If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her. If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her. If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.

If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her. If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend. If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police. If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and report him as a rapist.

Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends that it's not okay to rape someone.

Don't just tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x, y, or z. Don't imply that it's in any way her fault. Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl. Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

As rosepurr and others have posted in her LJ, the core message is focusing on prevention on the part of the would-be criminal as opposed to the would-be victim.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 3rd, 2005 12:12 am (UTC)
Interesting that you posted this. I had a male friend take a stand against it, saying it offended him because it painted all males as potential rapists and made abuse/assault something that only happened to women.

I'm glad to see you posting it as I didn't necessarily agree with him but couldn't put my finger on why until now.
Dec. 3rd, 2005 01:16 pm (UTC)
Nearly everyone who posted this in their live journals got posts against it. There is a debate about in my LJ, and a longer one in solarbird where someone honest-to-god tried to use the "attractive nuisance" legal argument.
Dec. 3rd, 2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I read the debate in your journal. Another female friend got a lot of flak about it as well and I read that debate also.

GAH, attractive nuisance argument! *gurgle* Oh, I see he/she brought up prison rape, too. Brilliant..
Dec. 3rd, 2005 10:57 pm (UTC)
Yeah. These conversations frustrated me beyond rationality.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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