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A fast machine?

"Like Steve McQueen, all I need's a fast machine . . ."

This song has been in my head all day. I have no idea why. Do I long to just to get behind the wheel or handlebars of some overpowered monstrosity and leave it all behind?


Or perhaps it's that it is on my iPod and occurs with fairly regular frequency.

Hmmmm . . .

It does sort of fit, though. I need to do something new and I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what. A couple of people have said that to me in the recent past, but only now has it truly resonated. I think the change in the weather has helped. It has put in me in a better, more open, more thoughtful state of mind.

I need something uniquely me. Of course, sometimes I wonder if I'm unique at all. This presents a problem.

I need to get in touch with the great me-ness. To explore the boundaries of me, to push my limits and discover new things about who I am and what I'm capable of.

And no, I'm not drunk.

So I'm open to suggestions. Although the one suggestion I will shoot down right now is any thought of going back to school for anything . . .


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 21st, 2005 07:21 am (UTC)
You could always take up knitting. Yep, guys knit too, and there's even a Men's Knit ezine now. http://www.menknit.net
Oct. 21st, 2005 02:46 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm. Could be relaxing. And force to sit still for awhile . . .
Oct. 21st, 2005 12:30 pm (UTC)
Mom was always disappointed that I didn't catch on to knitting well, craftiness is in your blood ya know, it just might work!!!
Oct. 21st, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)
Possibly. It might relax me.
Oct. 21st, 2005 01:43 pm (UTC)
That song took on a special meaning for me last year. I had it on a mix and frequently played as I was driving to surgery at 5:30 AM. The line about turning off the pager had specific significance.

I just took up crochet, and I've had a good time with it. Though I'm not sure that's what you're looking for. I usually take up some new activity when I feel like that, like kickboxing or bellydancing (which is NOT what I'm suggesting you do specifically). Sometimes a day trip will help too. I hope some of this helps, and good luck getting over the dulldrums.
Oct. 21st, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)
Visiting rosepurr, particularly the 4-hour drive, kills any desire for roadtrips.

However, I have been leaning towards something more physical. I'm not sure what yet.
Oct. 21st, 2005 01:55 pm (UTC)
Sweetie, I totally agree with you. I've noticed over the past few months that you seem to be less in touch with you. It worries me. I suspect the depths that your capable of, and I don't like watching you merely skipping stones across the surface of your soul.

I know part of what you're feeling is a reaction to the knowledge that currently your life is in limbo. That part will pass. I will not be one of those people who spends my life waiting for "when..." and neither will you.

I would recommend sitting down and really taking inventory of your life. I suggested this before, and you ignored me. I know it's hard and time consuming, but write yourself a letter. Talk to you about you. And then maybe you need some time away, a weekend in the mountains, or a trip hiking alone.

Right now, you're stuck in a rut. You aren't doing anything at all. Quit talking about how dissatisfied you are and start taking some steps toward figuring out what you want.

Oct. 21st, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)
My sweetie is absolutely right. I'm already starting to make some positive changes, darling. See today's entry.
Oct. 21st, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC)
I will never figure you out why you talk about me in the third person.
Oct. 21st, 2005 02:57 pm (UTC)
I only do when I post stuff here. :) I'm not sure why I do it either. I think it has to do with the (not necessarily geographical) distance I feel reading your words without having you here. :)
Oct. 21st, 2005 02:57 pm (UTC)
Actually, you do it in person too.
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:22 pm (UTC)
Do I? I don't notice. I'm a jackass.
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:24 pm (UTC)
Not in this case, though I admit that I don't care much for it.
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:23 pm (UTC)
Fencing! You should take up fencing! Or juggling. Everyone should learn to juggle. Think of the adventures that you could have! And you would never have to worry about gas money again! ;)
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC)
Fencing might be good.

You clearly have never seen me try to juggle.
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:34 pm (UTC)
Actually, when I read your post, I thought about how many of my friends have been saying similar things. What I would not give to be able to take my friends on a road trip where we could all have fun and adventures.

Then I saw the responses that other people were giving and I decided to point out fun things to learn that did not involve school rather than suggesting random bits of road insanity. It seemed the healthier choice. :)

Oh yes, and you clearly never saw me first learning to juggle. I was awful!
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:41 pm (UTC)
Hehehe! Yeah, though I spend enough time in the car on my way to visit rosepurr
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:25 pm (UTC)
I think something purely physical might be a good place to start. We can tlak about it in perosn if you want.
Oct. 21st, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC)
Okay. ;)
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )


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