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It's the week before finals, which is a strange time to work in the library. Everyday, the library is full of students hunkering down. Meanwhile, professors hide out in their offices or homes, writing exams (they procrastinate as much as anyone else - I know it's shocking!).

So the library is one big study hall. There's little for me to do right now except watch and make sure the basic administrative stuff of keeping a library running happens.

The air is like quicksand. Sure, it looks fine and clear, but it is a conduit for the stress of 600 people. They're all Type A's to begin with, striving to be the best of the best. Now, with the economic downturn, they've become convinced they have to try and work even harder. I hate to break their little hearts with the news that it won't matter, but it won't matter. They either will or will not get a job and their class rank will have less to do with it than they'll ever believe.

Of course, I absorb stress. Even when I have little of my own, when I'm around the overburdened, I feel my shoulders hunch and my crankiness rise. When I was in law school, I avoided the library during finals. They always told us that group studying was more effective, but I much preferred staying the hell home on my own, thank you very much.

Now I work there. What was I thinking?

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( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
carlamlee
Dec. 3rd, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)
And this is why I live in a different city than the one where my law school is located. It's only about three miles, but it's an important three miles. I don't want to be around their stress. I have my own.

They either will or will not get a job and their class rank will have less to do with it than they'll ever believe.

I am a prime example of this, and yet I still haven't actually started believing it. I still want to be the best, even though it's not going to happen and it doesn't have to happen. I have a job after graduation and many people ranked higher than me don't. But I still want to be the best. It's vicious, that desire.
thndrstd
Dec. 4th, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC)
I know it is. Law school is a vicious place. I only work here and some days I want to show them all that I'm smarter than they are. I don't know what it is about law school that does that. It's another one of its many traumas.

I believe I said this to you previously, but let me repeat: Congrats on your job! That is full of awesome and you will be fabulous.
pixiebelle
Dec. 4th, 2009 12:28 am (UTC)
Yeah, I hate to break it to them too. I just graduated from a pretty elite graduate program and no luck on the job front. It is more about who you know than what you know (and even more so in this economy). The people from my class with jobs all have it because they knew someone or because their mommy and daddy knew someone. They admit that openly. Or they just work for their parents. I don't have that luxury, nor do I really have family connections, so even though I graduated with honors, it isn't getting me anywhere in this economy.
thndrstd
Dec. 4th, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
It's true and, again, I'm sorry about your situation. I did well in law school, but my first job was largely the result of people I knew rather than what I did in school.

Good luck to you. Hope it turns around soon.
daundelyon
Dec. 4th, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
Bring a coloring book and some crayons to work. When the stress starts to get to you, take a coloring break. Sounds nuts, but that's how I survived a lot of finals in a high school full of over achievers. ^_^
thndrstd
Dec. 4th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
That sounds fun. I do need these kind of outlets. I always know this time of year is coming, but yet it always sneaks up on me.
daundelyon
Dec. 8th, 2009 06:54 am (UTC)
I find myself doodling at work when I have downtime. If nothing else, it can be soothing to play with color. Sometimes a new design for a necklace or something comes out of it, sometimes I just fill the page with random blocks or squiggles. Very relaxing.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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