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Rip it up!

I'm Alice staring down the rabbit hole.

Perhaps I just have Alice in Wonderland on the brain, because of the Syfy's channel miniseries this weekend (cable is still a horrible thing) or the very pretty Tim Burton adaptation [link to trailer] due next year.

The metaphor fits, though. I'm on the edge of the hole, peering down, scared of falling in.

Yesterday, someone asked me about my writing and I told him the truth. It's been going disastrously. I've been good about posting here, particularly for LJ Idol, but that's it.

Nanowrimo for me this year was a complete failure. I think I might have done 5000 words.

So this person then asked a simple question. Why? Why am I struggling? Is it because this is something I no longer want to do, a pipe dream from childhood, some romantic notion lost to the realities of college and working for a living and the weight of it all?

Or is it something else? Is it just hard because it's an atrophied muscle that needs to slowly build back up?

The best theory I have right now though is that I'm scared of being swallowed. I'm scared of giving myself over to writing so devotedly. I'm scared that it will take more than I'm willing to give it.

Could that be it?

Or is it just that I have nothing to say?

It sure looks awfully dark down there.



P.S. And why the hell am I writing this here, out in the open for all the public? It's like strutting around naked in a room full of people with magnifying glasses.

Comments

(Deleted comment)
thndrstd
Dec. 4th, 2009 10:48 pm (UTC)
LOL.

I haven't read those at all (haven't seen the movies, either). I'm tempted just to see what the fuss is about.

Of course, I couldn't get through The DaVinci Code, either.

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