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Dec. 18th, 2008



Sometimes I imagine my life has Hollywood scriptwriters. Something out of the old studio system. A bunch of brooding male twenty-somethings, all wearing white shirts and thin black ties, some with Buddy Holly glasses, chain-smoking cigarettes as they huddle over typewriters (they don't get computers), locked in a single room. Like the thousand monkeys that will eventually write Shakespeare. Barton Fink probably works there.

I had this thought more when I was younger. Delusions of grandeur, you might say. The belief that my life was so important that a pool of creative force was needed to keep it going. The ultimate epic poem, updated for contemporary audiences. Surrounded by extras straight from Ultimate Central Casting. Some people have recurring roles. Some are just cameos. Some add local color. Some come for particular story arcs and leave when the job is done, the moral is learned or the audience is bored with them.

It can be useful, this idea. I can think of myself in the third person (Jim pours himself another cup of coffee and sits at the computer). I can look at a situation with some emotional distance, imagining how it would look to an outside observer, i.e, the audience. Am I the hero or the villain here, or just an innocent bystander?

I don't think of myself as fatalistic. I don't believe my life follows some preordained path. The writers are always on the go, imagining new scenarios, conversations, twists and turns. As the star of the show, I have input into where the story is headed. I control a lot, but the writers sometimes throw me for loops.

My life, I imagine, is a quest. For fulfilling work. For satisfaction with myself. Sometimes simply for money. For adventure, even.

Sometimes my life is a farce. Bureaucracy and stupidity abound. I work in academia, after all.

My life is also a love story. I play the romantic leading man.

For the past five years, I have shared my script with someone who understands and thinks like me. I don't know if she has scriptwriters in her head, too, but we have the same goals and dreams. She provides much-needed dramatic tension and cohesion. She keeps the storyline on track.

Sometimes, though, I'm the bad guy. The audience boos. She's in the right and I'm an ass. The audience, though, likes the happy ending where conflicts are resolved and everything will be all right. We work on our fairy tale.

My favorite story, the one I live everyday, continues.



[Posted for LJ Idol Week 12 - My Favorite Story]

Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
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supremegoddess1
Dec. 18th, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
a different take...i like this...
thndrstd
Dec. 18th, 2008 05:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
dabhug
Dec. 18th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
I so enjoyed this.

...a pool of creative force was needed to keep it going.


Of course. If not, how on earth would we ever get through it all?

Excellent job.
thndrstd
Dec. 18th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
shadowwolf13
Dec. 18th, 2008 05:30 pm (UTC)
Hee! Adorable!

I think we all spend a bit of time thinking like this! :) I like your take on it.
thndrstd
Dec. 18th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
brightflashes
Dec. 18th, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)
Great job! I love the way you made this topic your own. : )
thndrstd
Dec. 18th, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much. :)
johnmill79
Dec. 19th, 2008 02:46 am (UTC)
This made me think of that movie Stranger Than Fiction. lol
thndrstd
Dec. 19th, 2008 02:59 am (UTC)
I still haven't seen it, though I mean to. Thanks for reading.
the_surfacer
Dec. 19th, 2008 05:16 am (UTC)
Awwwww. :)
thndrstd
Dec. 19th, 2008 03:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks.
mrsbowlert
Dec. 19th, 2008 09:26 am (UTC)
Amazing......
thndrstd
Dec. 19th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
What is?
imafarmgirl
Dec. 19th, 2008 05:30 pm (UTC)
Great post. It reminds me somewhat of the movie, Stranger Than Fiction. Great movie.
thndrstd
Dec. 19th, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
Someone else said that. I have to see it, I guess.

Thanks for reading.
solstice_singer
Dec. 20th, 2008 12:33 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed your take on this topic. I have wondered, from time to time, would my life would be like, were someone to write it out, like a screenplay.
thndrstd
Dec. 20th, 2008 01:28 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading.
kittenboo
Dec. 20th, 2008 03:36 am (UTC)
i really love that first paragraph, great imagery
thndrstd
Dec. 20th, 2008 05:18 am (UTC)
Thank you.
rejeneration
Dec. 20th, 2008 04:54 am (UTC)
-smiling- This is interestingly written!
thndrstd
Dec. 20th, 2008 05:15 am (UTC)
Thank you.
caersidi
Dec. 20th, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)
Loved the entry!
thndrstd
Dec. 22nd, 2008 04:15 am (UTC)
Thank you.
alycewilson
Dec. 21st, 2008 07:26 am (UTC)
Sometimes I feel like that. I'd love to have my own soundtrack.
thndrstd
Dec. 22nd, 2008 04:08 am (UTC)
LOL. Yeah, the soundtrack is important, too.

Thanks for reading.
darkprism
Dec. 21st, 2008 07:33 pm (UTC)
Very nice writing and a great take on the topic. :)

~*~
thndrstd
Dec. 22nd, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
Thank you very much. :)
baxaphobia
Dec. 21st, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
This was nicely done!
thndrstd
Dec. 22nd, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
Thank you.
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( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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